My Name Is Davros...

Last Friday I left Brisbane with a bulging backpack and flew down to Sydney. I checked into a hostel near the train station, into a 4-share room with ensuite, TV + video and aircon - pretty plush for a hostel, and at about $30 a night it's not too expensive. For some reason though I haven't been sleeping too well and have been waking up quite a lot in the night. Last night however, I was responsible for waking everyone else up.

I went to bed at about 11:30 after a few classes of cheap white wine. I wouldn't say I was drunk by any standard but I don't think I would have passed a breathalyzer test either. When I got into the room I had two new roommates, who were fashion students on a work placement from Canberra. We chatted for a few minutes before all going to bed and I dozed off pretty quickly. True to form I slept fitfully, and several times I woke up from some very odd dreams finding myself sighing in my sleep. Then about 4am I was having a dream - the details of which are a little sketchy in my mind, but I assure you it was bizarre - and I awoke, aware as I awoke that I was just finishing off announcing out loud: "My name is Davros!...".

What's worse, I was saying it at a pretty high volume and in the voice of a Dalek from Dr Who!

The last few syllables were still echoing coldly around the room when I realised what I was doing and was shocked back into consciousness. My first reaction was to cringe, then blush, then hide my head under the covers. I listened intently to find out whether the girls were still sleeping, but I couldn't hear any signs of deepened breathing that would indicate that my outburst had passed unnoticed.

How much of my dream had been broadcast in this way? I have no idea. Hopefully not too much because just before my Davros impression I was pretending to be Homer Simpson, and I can remember giggling and saying "I control all of the spheres!".

Don't ask me why, but for the five minutes of that dream I, Homer, did indeed control all of the spheres (and it was GREAT! I can highly recommend that you too control all the spheres should you ever get the chance).

So what must those two girls have thought? Here are my best theories:

1. That I am Greek, and Davros is my real name. In my dreams I reveal my true identity because I can't stand the deceit.
2. That I am a geek, who regularly dreams about Daleks, Cybermen and time travelling adventures.
3. That I am in fact the real Davros. My presence in Sydney is some evil scheme to take over the world by gaining control over all of the spheres. My wheelchair has been left amongst the luggage trolleys at the airport to avoid drawing attention to my presence here on earth.
4. That they are sharing a dorm with someone from "The Exorcist" - not having done the Davros impression it in the last 20 years, I'm the first to admit it's a little rusty and sounds more like someone from a horror movie than the leader of the Dalek race.

Anyway, I can't be certain what they think because they got up early and I skulked in bed till they'd left. I'm open to suggestions - answers on a postcard. And if anyone wants to hazard a guess about what the hell my dream meant I'd also like to know!

(Steve will be performing his Davros impression at the Big Hostel, Sydney from March 20th-24th. Showtimes from 2am-6am. No flash photography is permitted at this event).